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Is it Okay to be Angry? I Said I'm Not Angry!

The reality of anger may not be universally accepted, but it is a very normal and controllable emotion that many of us have not learned to manage. The problem with anger is that it is immediately thought of as a "Bad Emotion", but what exactly does that mean? Can an emotion be bad? While anger in and of itself is not a bad emotion it can certainly lead to some irrational behavior that can quickly heat an argument and make matters go south in mere moments. Many times, anger is only acted upon in a harmful way because first and foremost the individual becoming angry does not know how to express the emotion healthily. This is where techniques such as mindfulness, deliberate breathing, and simply walking away from an argument can come in handy.

Well, what if you don't have these techniques because you've always been taught that when you are angry you are supposed to act it out or simply stop being angry? Perfect advice, right? Not quite, I would say it is time to start looking for some better methods for managing your anger before it turns into rage*. Once anger becomes rage there is no telling what is going to happen, and that goes tenfold if there are any substances involved that may elevate tempers and reduce cognitive functioning. Yes, I mean if you are drunk you will likely not manage your anger as well. I'll save the topic of alcohol for another article, but to get back on topic, let's look at what we can do to understand our anger better so that we can manage it and have better control over the outcomes when we are tested.

Let's put ourselves in the mindset that we were taught at a young age that anger is normal and that when we are angry it is a way for our mind to try to warn us or put us on high alert. Now there are endless reasons for feeling angry and with good cause. Anger is a way for us to take on a defensive or offensive posture for survival or a way for us to express some form of pain that we are internalizing. And by pain, I mean physical or psychological pain. With this in mind, it should be easy for us to make a calm and calculated decision on what happens next right? It sounds like a video game or a Tele Novela, but this is what should be happening when emotions hit that can lead to unwanted results. Now realizing that anger is normal and with training can be well regulated how do we help ourselves stay calm when our heart rate is increasing, our muscles are tightening, and our head feels like it's about to burst away from our body?

I can't think of a better way than to go for a workout. Now when I say workout, that will look different for everyone and that is why it is important to find a community of trainers that are willing to meet you where you are. What better way to do that than through online personal training? While yes, I am certainly plugging my website and my coaching team, there is plenty of science-based research to back the health benefits of fitness. With the lengthy list of benefits, emotional regulation is most certainly one of them. So next time you work a twelve-hour shift, just to get cut off in traffic three times on a 45-minute commute home, and then arrive at your apartment with your loafers chewed up by scruffy, just take a deep breath and remember there is a better way to deal with your anger and we want to help. Also, in case I didn't mention it, you are most certainly allowed to be angry however, it does not justify making poor choices that will negatively affect your health and happiness. We look forward to hearing from you soon. Let's Go!!

*According to Oxford Dictionary, rage is defined as "a feeling of violent anger that is difficult to control".

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